Yesterday my best friend from Sixth Form got married to the love
of her life. I was apprehensive because it was four years previous to the event
that I was asked to be a bridesmaid, four years of planning and meticulous
organisation for a few hours of one day. I was nervous because Valerie and I
had drifted apart, myself being at university and not travelling home as often
as I would have liked to and her having a new life to enjoy and get used to. We
hardly talked. I would text her occasionally to catch up and she came over once
for a reason I can't remember any more. We were friends at 16, thrown together
in unfamiliar circumstances. She was already sat down as I entered the
classroom for our first every A level Biology class. I looked around and saw
people chatting, most seats were filled. It was a choice between sitting on my
own (and possibly risking someone sitting next to me who I didn't like) or be
brave and introduce myself. I asked if the seat was taken, she replied in the
negative and I sat down. We exchanged names and the rest, as they say, was
history. Our friendship was entirely detrimental to our studies, we would
giggle for the entire lesson, drawing silly pictures and exchanging notes.
Those days seem a world away now. We have both changed, she has become safe and
secure in her discovery of love and happiness and I, whilst being happy in love
myself, have become more cynical and jaded with the rest of the world. I am not
as carefree as I used to be but I still see that in Valerie. I'm not sure if
I'm jealous about it, I think I would consider myself ignorant were it me, but
the life and spirit that she has suits her. She sees good in everything whilst
I like to think that I do, but don't.
I guess it's more
a case of discovering my own identity and not liking what I find than jealousy.
I have mood swings, I am self righteous and often a martyr for the sake of
being one. I judge easily, I am selfish and I am tight with my money. I need to
change myself. But enough about me.
It was a beautiful day, the rain held off and the sun was shining. Everyone wore smiles. Valerie looked beautiful, Paul looked a little uncomfortable but very happy. I won't forget nerves and emotion that I felt as I walked down the aisle ahead of her but I was biting the inside of my lip so as to stop the tears. The emotions totally blindsided me. I wasn't expecting them at all but I think it was the sudden reality of it all and seeing my family and Michael smiling at me from the benches. There was a lot of love filling that room.
Once the ceremony was over the nerves lifted and I was able to enjoy myself. I twirled in my dress and watched the skirt fly out around me. I made new friendships and rekindled old ones. It was a magical day.
Here are some pictures including the nails that I did for the bride and her bridesmaids.
